Humor
 Gonna
Be A Bear
In this life I'm a woman.
In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get
to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal
with that, too.
When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of
walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I
could definitely deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who
bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal
with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that
you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup... gonna be a bear.
 Writing
With Emotional Appeal
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become
a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff
that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly
emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Top Ten Reasons
Hurricane Season is Like Christmas
10. Decorating the
house (boarding up windows)
9. Dragging out
boxes that haven't been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights)
8. Last minute
shopping in crowded stores
7. Regular TV shows
pre-emptied for "specials"
6. Family coming to
stay with you
5. Family and friends
from out-of-state calling
4. Buying food you
don't normally buy and in large quantities
3. Days off from work
2. Candles
And the number one
reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas
1. At some point you
know you're going to have a tree in your house!
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